Hate myself alot.
For not being a good daughter, a good sister or a good friend.

I dont know how to apologise to you, Revon.
So I think perhap by blogging, one day you might see it.
sorry for my words last night. I really felt quite frustrated, tired and sick.
That's why I couldnt control my temper and got it thrown on to you.

I'm sorry, babe.

Sometime, I really do felt that I'm a failure. Who will actually understand me when I dont even know myself well enough?

I'm someone who is imperfect. Too many flaws for people to spot on.
'everyone is imperfect." is just another sentence that will make me feel better for a time being.

I'm even worst as a friend too. Get things cock up on Bestie's birthday. What am I thinking and doing, Becca. This is the very first time bestie gave us her big day, yet I wrecked everythings up. I'm sorry too, Chloe. I dont want to get things out like that too.

and I'm so Sorry to buddy, kinleong. For being rude and ridiculous on phone last night, when we're discussing about Chloe's birthday.


On the other hand, I knew that you guys dont wish me to dwell in the matter anymore. You know, I had been looking things in brighter side of the world. and Im doing it everyday.
Some of you can see through my heart that, no matter what, his shadow is there.
whenever I go, whatever I do. Maybe the time hasn't ripe for me, yet. Im thinking of him right now. So many things about him, that I truly adores. But he isnt that him I know for sucha long time anymore. This moment my tears rolled down, Too many things up on my head. I just wish that he'sright there, telling me, " Bear, you can do it! "
There goes all my real dumb thoughts. I hate it. I hate that my mind do the job for my heart. Why? I asked myself alot of times, why?

Even friends around me that seen you recently, told me that you changed completely.
Became colder, further and mysterious. I cant see any smile in you anymmore.

You know what, I just cherish each and everytime we might hang out right now. Things isnt the same anymore, but I'm still adapting to my life that's completely new, without you.

Cherish the moments, before it's all gone forever, again.

Once again, for the day 1063, I still have you in my heart, missing you.